My Cost Of Living In 2050

It is the year 2050. i closed the door of my home and made sure the doors are locked securely. my iphone version 20s rang and the ringtone sang my favourite Sinatra's number, 'Fly Me To The Moon'. i frantically searched for my spectacles and put it on. following which, i hit on the 'Accept' button on the 5 inch Super HD (High Definition) screen.

'What took you so long to pick up my phone?!', an old lady screamed at the top of her voice, firing her first salvo at me. this 'lao chio' almost busted her lungs after the shriek. despite being 69 years old, she still looks good on the handphone screen i must say.

'sorry la dear, i was in excretory service just now la. you done with your shopping with your sisters? i'm coming rite up now. see you at Tampines Mall in 50 minutes ok?' i said, trying my best to pacify her.

'you better be! i'm hungry and i need my dinner soon! bye.' she hissed and the screen went blank.

Well, thats my wife for you. i strolled towards the lift and pressed the B1 button. after i reached, i walked towards my Audi A6 parked neatly just 10 steps in front of the elevator. the door unlocked and beeped after i placed my right thumb on the door knob. i sat in and repeated the same action on the metallic corkpit. the engine roars to life and i set the temperaure to 25 degree celsius. the car is a gem with state of the art technology. well, it did cost me a whopping $498,000 5 years ago you know. the COE alone is already $250,000. i'm glad i paid in full and i didnt adhere to what the sales executive purported. he offered me a full loan for 20 years financed with Damn Bloody S**tty Bank at 9.99% interest per annum. if i put to pen his offer, he can throw in a sporty body kit, 18 inch rims, 10 years free road tax at $15000 per year, playstation (automobile version 15) plus audio n dvd player in my car. well, why would an old man need all these? i declined his offer as politely as possible and declared that i would like to pay i full. the young chap then stomped away after leaving me the documents to sign for the new car. too bad i couldnt contribute more to his remuneration as i am not taking up the loan. but who can blamed him as i know he is just working for a living.

i thread on the accelerator and moved off effortlessly. Couldnt waste anymore time as there will definitely be a very heavy traffic jam on the expressway en-route to Tampines. i waved the security guard goodbye as i drove passed the guardhouse of my apartment. gotta be quicker, i thought, or else i'm gonna get another harsh objurgation. even though i stayed in Marine Parade and the distance to Tampines is pretty short, i knew i couldnt take any chances. i quicken my pace to 100km/hr. suddenly, a quick flash shone though! damn! i had been caught by the speed camera. there are about 1000+ speed cameras in Sillypore to date. the speed limit just outside my apartment is 60km/hr. there goes my $6000(plus 50% GST) and 12 demerit points...

As i expected, i'm reluctantly caught in the jam at ECP. what a way to spend my time on a weekend. i really wondered why the jam is so bad even though the Transport authorities had placed 10 ERP gantries here, each costing $20 to bypass on a weekend and $60 on a weekday. Sillyporeans are really getting richer i must say. it was reported in the papers a few days ago that 50% of the entire 15 million population in Sillypore are millionaires! but sad to say, 47% of that 50% are Sillyporean PRs that hails from countries like Indonesia, China, Philipines, India, Vietnam etc. our public housings are switching hands by the millions, thus making young couples taking up 150 years loan to pay for them and a bowl of my favourite mee pok dry at the nearby hawker centre can cost me $16.90, considerably lesser than having it at the foodcourt which could cost me at least $25. even my favourite Johnnie Walkers now cost me $500 per bottle (250ml). cost of living is so expensive now that the lesser of the citizens had been seeking alternatives in Malaysia or Pulau Ubin. our population is also greying at the fastest rate known in the history of this country despite campaigns raised that encourages people to give births, baby bonuses of $10000 in excess and the abolition of abortion. these drastic measures taken by the authorities just doesnt seem to work with us, who strictly follows the doctrine of otherwise.

my car inches forward slowly but surely. this is certainly very stressing on my old and whobbly legs. i switched on the auto pilot mode as i always used this function whenever i 'm caught in a jam. this journey to Tampines is gonna cost me great via the ERP and the GPS system implemented a few years ago. the GPS system tracks the position of our cars, calculates the distance we travelled and charges us for them. the authorities will then send the bill to our home at the end of every month. what an impressive piece of technology!

the jam today is worse than what i experienced yesterday. it is hard to avoid traffic jams in land scarced Sillypore nowadays. must be a car accident ahead that is causing it. i pity the drivers who might be involved in them. insurance premiums are sky-high these days and accidents are just gonna made them worse. i'm glad i still sitting on a fat deposit in my bank account. if not, i think i'm might need to move my whole family to Batam.

my phone rang again. i activated my bluetooth handsfree device and the 8 inch screen on the cockpit blinked. it is my wife.

'hey dear, dun parked your car at the shopping centre later ok? they charged $30 per entry after 5pm. just picked me up at taxi stand huh. and you got to give my sister a lift back home later too. the MRTs are sandwiched with people and there are no seats for the elderly too. dun want her to stand throughout the whole journey.' well, MRTs these days doesnt have any seat at all as they believe that they can squeezed more people in. countless people had been ranting on the papers about crowded trains everyday but the CEO of these trains insists that there are enough room for everybody.

'okok. got it. i will be there soon. caught in a jam as usual. see you soon!' i said.

i switched off the monitor and sit back. lets hope this jam will ease quickly. i am very hungry and my craving for mee pok dry just sinks in. hopefully the auntie can give me more fishballs this time.